Ghosts In My Bed

It's been awhile..

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 08:53:27 GMT

My life..is in purgatory...

Not heaven and not hell just in between and it's not a fun place to be in. I hate the school I'm in so bad I cry about it every once in awhile because I don't know what to do. I invested so much time into it and I am so close to finishing but this was time I will never get back. I'm so miserable I can't wake up to get to school on time anymore. It's taking away my passion for art, and that's probably the single worse thing of all.

Art has become too confusing to me, because of all the ideas put in my head that I have to question everything I do before I do it and stop half way because I'm so confident that what I'm doing just ISN'T good enough. Is this normal? ...

I don't know who to talk to...I don't know what to do...sometimes I just bust into tears cause I'm so unsure of myself now

I also am incapable of showing any of these emotions to anyone's face because I would take it as a sign of weakness..I don't want to tell people I'm weak because I'm scared of becoming dependent on others cause they'll just get tired of it...

Also I HATE my professor that I have in a few hours. He makes me feel so terrible T_T

I don't know what to do and what is right and what is wrong anymore when I used to be so fucking sure.

D:

Hey guys life update no. 2

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 04:15:03 GMT

Yes I'm still in a relationship with him~

Its been almost 10 months yay!

Secondly I got A's and B's for my first semester...

For my second semester I got 4 A's 3 B's and a C NUUUUUUUUUUU A C!!!

I'm so disappointed ;_; I will try harder next time!

Also when I'm done with my AAS degree for illustration at FIT I would seriously like to go into toy design to finish my BFA...

It's insanely difficult program to get into so I'm told seeing as they only let 22 people in a year out of 200 that apply!

I really would like to try hard! I want to do this!

I just hope I can! I really do! Don't ask why toy design cause I have no idea myself!
I'm just happy doing things that are art related, I really do think I would be happy going on with this major..

=) Oh i'm on summer vacation now so I'd really like to hang out and visit some people~!
Also i may be putting up some work i did during the semester~!

College first semester, lots to tell you all!

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 13:10:30 GMT

Probabaly NO ONE reads this anymore..but leave me some comments if anything.

I miss everyone I haven't seen in awhile you know who you are.

SO i managed to do very well on my grades...

I took 9 classes, Got 2 A's an A-, Two B's, A B+ and a B-...I'm missing two grades cause my old bat of a teacher didn't input my grades.
Taking those 9 classes only made me realize two things, I can take a heavy course load and do well but taking said heavy course load is HARD! So I won't do it again I'm taking 7 classes now instead of 9. My vacation offically ends on monday and for those who were wondering where I was I went to puerto rico to vacate.

It was a very refreshing vacation and I feel great now. School starts tomorrow and I'm kind of excited.

On another note I'm happily stuck with this guy:

We looked kinda defeated cause we don't sleep much and we were on the ferry lol.
Soon to be 5 months! Whoo!

lol I don't look like that anymore...I managed to change haircut/color atleast 3 times in the past few months.
Everything right now is going good, I can generally deal with life. I'm aiming for More A's this semester. I still want to become an illustrator, just need to figure out what kind of jobs I want to get and what not. Alright all leave me a comment let me know you're alive, maybe we can chill.

...

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 02:51:12 GMT

I'm probably the loneliest of all..

Knowing all these people and yet not one to be around with on a regular basis...

Not even having a good friend or two in my school is really hard and frustrating...

::sighs::

DYSFUNCSHUN

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 16:54:38 GMT

...

Yeah I learned one of those family secrets

I need to get away from my mom...

-----

I need to do something...i need to not lose my mind

LOL @ ME

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 14:26:20 GMT

I don't believe I will be looking for love anymore.

I give up

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 01:08:25 GMT

Like I got into FIT

and thats cool and all

But no i can't get a summer job..

Cuz i gotta go to the eop program..

SCREWED

Jesus must fucking HATE me

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 03:47:41 GMT

Shit been going down hill for about a month now

This is BULLSHIT

I need to get the fuck outta my house my mom make me wanna hang my fucking self

Among other fucking things

what

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 01:12:44 GMT

this weekend better be fun :)

I fucking hate it all..just when it looks u it goes down

Wed, 30 May 2007 02:13:13 GMT

i'm too poor to afford going to college

so..whatever..

School said they not givin me much..I feel like god was like bitch i'ma spite you hard

I really didn't want to have to stay in the city for school but i guess I have to and I'm pissed.

I fuckin hate life so much right now...

Yo...Malta

Wed, 30 May 2007 00:29:54 GMT

Makes you feel DUMB lazy...

ugh I had 3 today....

So far

Sun, 27 May 2007 01:01:23 GMT

Savannah has awarded me a $5,000 Dollar scholarship per year.

Artistic Honors Scholarship

overall it will be $20,000 for all 4 years

:)

yay!

So...

Fri, 25 May 2007 01:29:22 GMT

I Got Into Savannah College Of Art And Design

But I Needs Moneys To Go D:

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

Tue, 22 May 2007 00:41:36 GMT

SO I TOTALLY

GOT INTO

SAVANNAH COLLEGE OF ART AND DESIGN!

UGH!

Thu, 10 May 2007 01:56:04 GMT

Men can sometimes be such irresponsible...

WANKS!

>:

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 01:21:10 GMT

yo mama...

::eveyone insert a yo mama joke::

seriously

Smile for Me baby

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 03:11:31 GMT

So I got in contact with an old friend.

Her name is Crystal, she's 19 and moved to Florida when I was in the 7th grade.
We haven't seen each other since then.
Two girls who grew up and still haven't really changed at heart.

We stopped talking in sophomore year of high school at Laguardia. For so many reasons we couldn't keep in much contact but I always tried to be there for her and vice versa.

So a couple of days I see her screen name, I imed her...no reply

Next day...I see her sn pop up again...I im her

"Hi!"

As we talked I burst into tears, I checked out her myspace...still the same face on a woman's body..lol She's moving back to New York :) Only she'll be 5 hours away...but its okay hopefully we'll hang out more.

We talked and talked for about 30-45 minutes and it was just like old times.
Talking to her just made me think that I should put more effort into my relationships with others. It's really difficult to deal with people who live so far away. Even then I would like to let all my friends know that I do love and cherish them. No matter how far, even if I don't see you guys that often you all are in my thoughts. I am very grateful for everything and I hope I can make more time to see everyone in the near future.

:)

NERDY GIRLIE!

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 06:25:23 GMT

So I totally have the death note movie :)

WONDA WOMANNNN

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 06:13:22 GMT

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman		90%
The Flash		85%
Hulk		80%
Spider-Man		70%
Supergirl		70%
Superman		65%
Robin		50%
Catwoman		50%
Green Lantern		45%
Batman		35%
Iron Man		35%

You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Utter Hate

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 01:01:18 GMT

I know some dumbass people at laguardia and y'all suck major toe fungus.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE Y'ALL CAUSE YA SUCK!

lol sorry gaiz

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 03:00:00 GMT

I are punished for a really long time..

no not really just until sat. of next week.

Its all my fault I don't even blame my mom for it I deserved it

So yeah College apps. to Oswego, purchase, fredonia, FIT, Savannah College of Art and Design...all done.

I need to send out Uarts...

UGH damnit!

anyways no drama just utter boredom and drawing of the new comic book...

I SWEAR THIS TIME! It's even in full color

LOL AHAHAH CRIES

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 23:25:37 GMT

http://park19.wakwak.com/~licia/lilith2.htm

IT'S A MAN!

For more cross-playing horror slut pictures :D

http://park19.wakwak.com/~licia/COSPLAY.htm

Dir en Grey Concert

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 06:33:10 GMT

OH my god, people passed out left right and center. Right after the finale finished my knees gave out and I semi passed out. Someone caught me...I don't know who BUT I THANK YOU!

Dir en Grey fans FUCKING suck. The really annoying ones with bad BO who suck up you're oxygen while you're trying to breathe. You're going to a concert that EXTRA deodarant DOESn"T kill, that is if you even put on any AT ALL.

Overall, the band, Fucking amazing. I got to see die and kyo, thats all I care about. I was in the front :D score, cept for the shoving and the lack of breathe most of the time.

No more concerts for me for awhile, I always end up in the front and waking up the next morning feeling like I got beat with a bat.

Kat you fucking rock my socks.

Krystal THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH I OWE YOU.

Janet you're crazy~

Everything was fun and cool for the most part ^^.

Extra Gay with Man Sauce

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 02:18:22 GMT

I have to buy a 35 mm camera that I don't have the money for.

Pay a $65 doller lab fee. All because I was told that I wasn't going to have photography so I didn't really save money for it and now I'm stuck with it because of the school's fuck ups.

I really hate being so damn broke.

I need to get another job that isn't the one i'm doing right now, so I'm going to go apply for a new job somewhere. Please wish me luck I really need another job that pays more often.

My mom said she may put off paying the rent in order to help me out but I really don't want her to she's already like 2 months behind.

God this is annoying...

So gay

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 04:51:59 GMT

Jesus, mister or misses private reader of my LJ.

Um, You suck.

Oh, and you're stupid, I wrote about that six months ago and your gay ass decides to go tell her?

Whatever floats y'alls boats assholes~

Go mind your buisness or something the both of you nosey asses.